Last night Karen read me a letter I wrote her in May of 1989. Want to know what the scariest part of it was? 20 years later and I sound the same! I was chattering about bands, life in AZ and our friends. It was insane how little I have changed yet some much transpired in between. My favorite line from it was: “I don’t mind rock radio playing alternative stuff.” OMG, hilarious! I was going on about KUPD playing The Cure. Hahaha!
What I also find interesting about this letter is that when my mom passed away, Dan insisted I changed. What I think may be more true is that I changed (conformed) when I got married and that the real Leah came back. Because I no longer had my mom, I reached back inside and found me. I went back to what I truly enjoyed from crafting to travelling to see bands. What a revelation! Dan had me convinced I changed. Of course, without my mom I was altered but I don’t believe I truly “changed” even though he had me believing I did. I rediscovered ME! In fact, I am a bit disappointed with myself if I compromised who I was for marriage. I have watched so many girlfriends do that for their husbands, I swore I never would but maybe I did. Our demise had more to do with finding our true selves. He did too and then he realized that our true-selves had completely different directions in which we were heading. I think that is why we were both so ok with our divorce. We both knew we only needed each other for that period of time. I sense that is why I am so at peace right now, I finally have returned to 1989 Leah… It explains my desire to move too. The very first thing I realized when I swallowed that the divorce was happening was that I didn’t have to stay in Arizona anymore. Complete peace will come when that job slips into my pocket along with my own place; And when I am entertaining friends again at my own place. That is me.
Randomness:
It dawned on me that I should do a search for diners in Washington! I bet there are some cool ones here!
One thing I don’t necessarily like still from 1989 is my constant need to have a crush. It is lame at 42 because you have too much sensibility to let it just be fun. But trust me, I always have a crush and most of the time, it is not a healthy one.
So remember how I was saying they have these bikini espresso places here in Washington. Well now I drove by a place that proclaimed- No Bikinis! See, I knew some women would object! They have ones labeled Bikini bottoms too- oh brother.. Plus they have city meetings to ban them. Hilarious.
I noticed that out in the country, the convenience stores have fryers so the food in the case is fresher than a place like 7-11 with hot dogs rolling. I am guessing this is because you have longer drives so you eat more “real” food from the gas station? On a drive to Port Angeles I stopped at the absolute nicest convenience store ever. I can’t even describe it but it was nicer than most AJ’s plus it was huge! It was on a reservation near a casino, not sure if that had anything to do with it.
I took the dogs to a “forest” today. It was part of Spanaway city parks. It was very nice but it was the first time I realized I should be more concerned with my safety. I saw an unsavory character heading into this forest then as it wound around a lot of woods, I realized I shouldn’t do everything by myself. I am awkward enough trying to walk three dogs. If someone would have robbed me I would be so easy with the clumsiness of the dogs. I will not be returning there. I need to stick to open dog parks with lots of people. Maybe I am too independent sometimes..
The Polaris Prize is only 2 nights away. I wonder if anyone else gets as excited for this as I do. Next year I will host a party for it! Hahahah! I need to listen to Jian on Monday! Wish he was hosting it again but he is not, Grant Lawrence is again.
I miss being social. This should not be a big surprise. My life was always so packed with activities. It is good to reflect but I need to just hang out with my pals-just laugh and have fun…Thank goodness for the phone. I have gotten some great laughs on the phone since in Washington-you know who you all are! ;)
You know who I have been listening to lately..The Posies.. Must be something about the location?? ;)
I heard the K-os take over show on Iceberg this week. I really like how much of a music fan he is. He is very humble to be around other musicians. He told stories of meeting Moe Berg from TPOH plus his appearance in the Death from Above video. I knew he would play Sloan because I knew he was a fan. He went on about how he thinks Chris Murphy is talented at everything he does. He also played "The Other Man" and hinted to it being about Feist but would not break musician code. Sorry, K-Os, most fans know Chris was the other man who stole her away from which ever BSS guy she was with at the time. The most entertaining story he told was about Sam Roberts. He said he was watching Live 8 and saw Sam sing a new song at the time "Brigde to nowhere" K-OS thought it was a song about him and was bummed out. Then he said he talked to both Peter Elkas (:HEARTBEATS:) and Murray Lightburn of The Dears. They both thought Sam wrote the song about them. As K-OS concluded- we were all so vain, we thought the song was about us. That was funny! Maybe other musicians confide their deep dark secrets to Sam Roberts. Who wouldn't? If it meant a longer chance to stare at that gorgeous man, well? He must have more bromance than Plaskett!
Karen swore I would love the new Mountain Dew Ultra Violet but nope. I had another self discovery! I do not like fruity flavors carbonated. They have to be like kool-aid. Carbonation for me needs to stay in the cola family. Who am I kidding, carbonation needs to stay in the Dr. Pepper family for me-period. Did you know I never drank carbonated drinks until my late 20's. Now there was a habit I should have kept! I had an ex-boyfriend who loved Dr. Pepper. I would sip his everyday and boom- I was hooked! Damn him! LOL!
Did I mention I am seeing Matthew Good in November? I suspect so for the next 2 months until the show!
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